Tuesday, April 05, 2005

Dogs/Cats

I recieved a printed version of this email, thought I would share it with everyone...

As seen in a dog's diary:

8am-oh boy! Dog food! My favorite!!
9am-oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!!
10am- oh boy a walk! My favorite!!
11am Oh boy! A car ride! My favorite!!
Noon- Oh boy! The kids My favorite!!
1pm-Oh boy! The yard!! My favorite!!
2pm-Oh boy! the kids! My favorite!!
4pm-Oh boy Dog food! My favorite!!
5pm-Oh boy! MOM!!!! My favorite!!
6pm- Oh boy!! DAD!!! My favorite!!
7pm-Oh boy!! A tennis ball!! My favorite!!


As seen in a cat's diary:

Day 183 of my captivity...
My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects. They dine on fresh meat, while I am forced to eat dry cereal. The only thing that keeps me going is the hope of escape, and the mild satisfaction I get from ruining the occasional piece of furniture. Tomorrow I may eat another house plant. Today my attempt to kill my captors by weaving around their feet while they were walking almost succeeded--must try this at the top of the stairs.

In an attempt to disgust and repulse these vile oppressors, I once again induced myself to vomit on their favorite chair--must try this again on their bed. I decapitated a mouse and brought them the headless body, in an attempt to make them aware of my capabilities and to strike fear into their hearts. They only cooed and condescended about what a good little cat I was. Mmmmm, not working according to plan.

There was some sort of gathering of their accomplices this evening. I was placed in solitary throughout the event however, I could only hear the noise and smell the food. More importantly I overheard that my confinement was due to MY power of "allergies." I must learn what this is and how to use it more to my advantage. I am convinced the other captives are flunkies, and maybe even snitches. The dog is routinely released and seems more than happy to return. He is obviously a half-wit. The bird on the other hand has got to be an informant, and speaks with them regularly. I am certain he reports my every move. Due to his current placement in the metal room, his safety is assured. But I can wait, it is only a matter of time...

-author unknown

2 comments:

kmvr said...

First time I've laughed all day! Thanks.

Edster said...

To my readers: I have been experiencing technical diffuiculties. I've been unable to post my last entries. I'm not sure if the problem is on my end or with blogspot. Anyways, I'll keep trying, so be patient.