Monday, January 31, 2011

Finding the music

On some days I just can't find the music anymore. I know it's there but I don't hear it. I'm having a hard time being moved by anything and it's rare that I get "the shivers" or really feel the emotion behind a piece.

Last night I marveled while watching an aged David Gilmour playing Pink Floyd numbers. Somehow he kept his love affair alive with his music. I want that. I want to rekindle my love affair with that which is intangible. I want to touch that magic, mold it, carve it and sculpt it.

I don't want to stay silent anymore. But I've forgotten how to touch it's gilded edge.

Monday, January 03, 2011

A little bit of Karma

Dedicated to Sayrene, one of the nicest, kindest people ever.

Christmas day. December 25, 2010. Rockville, Maryland.

I was spending some time with my friend Jacob. He needed some smokes so we stopped by a local 7-11. He came back and proceeded to smoke when I realized that I could use a snack. I noticed a homeless man sitting near the entrance eating a bowl of soup, that obviously he had just bought. I knew what I had to do.

I went in the store and began the frantic search for that one thing that would ease my hunger cravings, that would quiet the abdominal unrest that I was feeling. I found that item and purchased it, and a cup of coffee.

As I left the store I went over and handed this homeless gentleman a five dollar bill. He said thanks and then asked me to "pray for the troops." I told him that if I believed in a god that I would, however, they are in my thoughts daily, as I was one of them- in what seems like many years ago.

I went back to my Element and talked with my friend a bit while he jonesed another menthol. We talked about this and that and just caught up with each other, renewing our friendship as we rarely get to see each other. Then he was finished and we got into the car.

We continued talking and I started up the motor. Just then a little finch landed on my rear-view mirror. The finch sat there and looked at me, and I at it.

I believe it was a female purple finch, but I'm not a bird watcher...except for this one time.

I rolled down the window. The finch flew down to the ground, then flew right back up. Here I was, maybe 8 or 10 inches away from a wild finch and it was absolutely beautiful and fascinating. I rolled the window back up, the finch flew down and right back up to the mirror. I think it was as curious about me as I was about it. I could see the wind blowing it's little feathers. I could see how rapidly the finch was moving it's head, how nervous it appeared to be. But I could almost feel a sense of calming from this little bird, as if she was saying to me: don't be afraid to slow down from time to time.

Another finch then flew up onto the roof of the Element. Which is when I decided I needed to drive away. The little female stayed on the mirror until I got onto the main road. It was a sublime moment.

So $5 was the price of admission into a few moments of this tiny birds life.