Wednesday, October 20, 2004

What is intimacy?

Certainly this is not a typical post, yet it is. All of the feelings and observations that I share here are of an intimate nature. My random musings and lackluster epistles provide emphasis upon the very "who" that I am. So in a way this blog is quite intimate and personal.

But what is intimacy in particular? I know that we in America have decided that an "intimate moment" is a moment having to do with sex. But is sex all there is to intimacy? I should think not. There have been many times in which I have had sex but not shared intimacy with my partner. True intimacy is a deeper feeling of nakedness than just nudity can provide. True intimacy is a feeling of utter helplessness and exposure, yet a security in that openness that transends description.

I have shared moments of intimacy that did not include sexual activities with friends both male and female. These intimate moments where judgements were not made, are some of the most precious times in my life. I can remember them from afar and sense the feelings of abandoning all pretenses and still feel safe. If those moments were true intimate moments, I can see how a couple could stay married for decades and never lose the love for each other that they had at the beginning of the marriage.

Perhaps I should say that intimacy is a truthfulness, a joining of sorts in which two individuals can be recklessly honest and so together emotionally that the rest of the world truly does not matter.

I am open to any and all comments on the subject.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

This is an old post of yours, but I found your blog via the dog forum (I post as the_gopher)....but I entirely agree with your view on intimacy, it's not just sex. In fact some of my least intimate moments have included sex! Americans have it backassward in a lot of respects, or maybe I simply see intimacy as that special moment two souls connect and there's no judgement, no fear, and blessed nakedness of just simply being onself with another.