Wednesday, October 06, 2004

Well here we are again

Here we are again. We're all where we either feel comfortable or where we feel bored. We're doing those things that we do to alleviate stress or boredom. Or maybe we're just blog-surfing to stimulate our collective intellect. I can say that I'm not sure what I'm looking for or what I'm doing here.

Heavy thinking is mostly done on little or no sleep in my case. I haven't slept well the last few nights and my thoughts have turned to the meaning of existence, both the existence of humanity and the existence of myself. Who are we and why are we here? These are the questions that have founded religions, created borders and ultimately enslaved or slaughtered millions of people throughout history. If I were arrogant I could say that my life's purpose is to make the world a better place. If I were very arrogant I could say that and believe it as well. However, the miniscule amount of knowledge that I have tells me that if I were to cease to exist, the world would move on without me, and never miss a beat.

Strange isn't it, that we live our lives in a blur, creating contacts with people, engaging in conversations, pushing ourselves, stressing work over relaxation, creating self-importance based upon our position in the hierarchy and yet, when it's all over, it's all over. People move on. People move past. Possibly we've left a smile or two on the faces of those we knew. Maybe it's selfish for me to want to be remembered when I die.

The way to become immortalized, as far as I know, is to have children. I don't want children because the world is a terrible place and also because despite the joy of it all, I don't want the responsibility of being a father. Sometimes though, I do think that I could be a good parent.

So I'm guessing that my mood is pensive right now.


Kujaku said...

You have some very deep thoughts here my friend. But I believe that to have your memory branded into the minds of others, you must achieve a greatness of some sorts. But what real greatness is possible to be achieved? Would greatness be inventing something to help people? Assassinating one of Evil stature? Or, would it simply be to establish a good life for your family. I wonder this often as well. When I die, I do not wish to be forgotten, but how I wish to be remembered is almost just as important.

timx said...

When I die, I want to be forgotten as quickly as possible. That wish imparts a tremendous sense of freedom on me, and allows my family to escape from all that burdensome guilt stuff like 'whose turn is it to go and polish Grandad's grave stone?'
I recommend you have a rethink!
Kids are great, but like kittens they grow up!

Edster said...

Tim, yet again you make a good point. I, in much the same vein as you, care not to be memorialized or anything on a grandiose scale. I do, however, wish that some of the good things that I have done to live on after my time on this earth has passed. I would like for someone to read something I've written, play one of my songs, or in the case of hockey; be able to pass on some knowledge and think about the person behind the artifact, whether that artifact is physical or purely mental.

I have written instructions in my will for there to be no grave, I will be cremated and my ashes will be scattered over the Pacific Ocean. I desire no funeral service, no "wake" as it were and hopefully those who survive me will simply smile and understand that my mental health is no longer an issue at that point.