Saturday, January 20, 2007

Silly little blog....

sorry, I was boiling green beans in the second batch of broth (because one is never enough) and forgot about them. I'd have started a horrible green bean fire. It could have been worse than the hindenburg...Oh the humanity. But lucky for humanity I was able to make a quick leap off my fat as$ and turn off the stove. Yes, again I am a hero. They should make a TV show out of my life. It would be called Mundane and the Ordinary-subtitled Living with the Pharaohs.

The best part of the show would be the Pup-arazzi always following the real stars...oh the scandals..."Did you see the way Gaia looked at that other bitch?" Oh my! And Xerxes, he walks around so brazenly...(and all the alternative lifestyle hounds would be saying.."Did you see that? He looks like a horse!" or "He could be my D0minant male anytime!!!!"

But the old women would feel sorry for our hapless hero, who stands brave in the face of countersurfing danger-and buckles down and steam cleans up the remains of yesterday's and last week's gourmet dinners. They would pity him and email in cleaning hints and recipes. Young ladies would fall in love with our bumbling protaganist-all to their chagrin. For it is not the ladies he would share his bed with, no, it is young men-much like himself. Young men that would walk the perilous path of pet partnership, young hot men who would much rather snuggle with another and share the hot sweaty passion of the "love that dare not speak it's name." Oh Scandal. Oh Scandal why must you ring so true? Is this not love I see before me? Or it is and passion? Where could those intimate moments have gone?

Somewhere between the countersurfing canine self-catering and the feline felicity our hero lost his capacity to love another human being. Oh say it isn't so. Please no. The tabloids and dime store novels ring true, even today. Even by today's standards. There will be no more Tom Cruises, only Doogie Hausers, and Danny Aiellos. Everyone will be out, and everyone will be outed. Sad sad truth of life and love. And the old women sobbed and dabbed their tears with kleenex and then changed the channel to hear the inspiring words of Oprah.

And so it ends.

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